Kourtney Kardashian has been celebrating her birthday in Mexico with her sister Kim and a few friends, and from the looks of what they’ve posted on social media, 38 is off to a crazy start for the oldest Kardashian.

Among other things, the sisters have tweeted about how Kourtney did naked cartwheels and puked like crazy afterward:

We asked a food editor to taste-test these edible sex toys. Here’s what happened.

So yeah…epic. Now, Kourtney is posting on Snapchat about the pretty amazing gift her makeup artist and friend Joyce Bonelli got her for her bday. “For my birthday, gorge got me…” she says, as Joyce chimes in, “An orgasm.” (Get wet and wild with this organic lube from the Women’s Health Boutique.)

Captain Pecker Image courtesy of Kourtney Kardashian/ Snapchat

But really—Joyce actually is holding Captain Pecker, a six-foot tall inflatable penis. Captain Pecker (tagline: The Party Wrecker) is currently available on Amazon for $17.87. “This six-foot pecker can be your best companion on a cold night and best friend in the pool,” the box reads. “You’ll never be alone with Captain Pecker.” Worth noting: Captain Pecker says it’s “perfect” for bachelorette parties, birthday parties, showers, and, er, office parties.

Kim later posted a blurry photo on Twitter of Kourtney and a bunch of her friends gripping the super-sized penis, so clearly it got some play during the birthday festivities.

You can get five of these ginormous peens for the price of one of the butt-shaped pool floats on Kim’s website, so really—it’s a steal. We can already think of at least six people this would be awesome for.

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